Lately I've been really struggling with where I am at in my life. Decisions that I have been making, etc. Things that are just not in my character. I'm finding that I way to easily conform to the way that the "world" or my surroundings want me to be. I'm just at a place where I am kind of torn between where I know I should be and where I would just rather settle because it's easier. I know that I am not living my life the way that God intended me to. I think that part of that is that I am still pretty bitter with the hand He's dealt me and I don't really know where to even begin to start to deal with it. Somedays it's super easy, other days it seems unreachable. Anytime that I find myself doubting God and His plan for me, it never fails that He has this way of showing me that He is there, being Faithful and showing me constant Grace. Sometimes it's really hard to see God's Faithfulness but it's the little reminders that help.
Here's some song lyrics from a Jeremy Camp song. I don't think that it could sum up how I've been feeling lately any better. If you know me you know that music is a huge part of my life! So it's awesome when I can find a song that rings true.
Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems i dont know where to start
But its now i feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain
I still believe in your faithfulness
I still believe in your truth
I still believe in your holy word
Even when I dont see I still believe
Though the questions still fog up my mind
With promises i still seem to bear
Even when answers slowly unwind
It's my heart I see you prepare
But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain
The only place I can go is into your arms
Where I throw to you my feeble prayers in brokeness
I can see that this is your will for me
Help me to know you are near
It's an awesome song and you should all download it! Also if you could all help me out with prayers and keeping me accountable that would be awesome! I know that I was brief but there's only so much that I want to share on a blog read by who knows how many people!
Love you all and until next time....God bless!
ash
5 comments:
oh ash...drop me an email when you have time i would love to help you out, and you have me so curious as to what this all means, iam and will always be liscenting ears when you need them, you know me..i care so much!!, and im glad i could cheer you up with a simple phone call...it was something that was so heavy on my heart to do!...take care
remember my new email its
thefunknest@shaw.ca..i no longer check
kimmiefunk@hotmail.com
thanks babe
Hey Ash,
Big ~HugZ~. I wish I could be there in person to take you out for an ice cap and let you vent. Send me an email carissa.seitz@shaw.ca I went through a bit of a bout back in October and November so if there is anything I can help you with send me a buzz. Love ya and I miss ya tons!!
Hey Hun,
I can totally relate to how you feel. It is all to often so easy to do as others do and not what we are called to. Just know you have friends who love you and support you and are praying for you and nate every step of the way. We love you!!
hey ash you should come over on monday and we can do our hair?
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