blah....

Face down; this is where it leads you - too far.
Buried covered now, you'll find peace - in the earth aground.
Stop now, there's no point in breathing - it's not allowed.
On the surface, how can you find - reason to move on?

Hush now, yeah don't say a word - its out in the open,
And tell me how can you deal with all this wait?
Speak now, you must have a secret kept down,
Down where you can keep it - I need you to spill your guts.

Until then you can runaway,
Do you best to hide your face.
And oh I know you best.
I know you get what you get - until then you can runaway.
Do your best to hide your face.
And oh I know you best.
I know you get what you get you - get what you deserve.

Speak now you must have a secret kept down,
Down where you can keep it - I need you to spill your guts.

You get what you get, you get what you deserve.

Easter Weekend...

Nathan and I headed to Estevan for Easter weekend. The majority of his family were going to be in town because his auntie Brenda was going to be there visiting for the weekend. She came up from Mexico with her fiancee! We were all very excited to get to meet our new Uncle Art and his son AJ. It was so good to see auntie Brenda so happy, Art couldn't be a better match for her! They had a shower for them on the Saturday night. That was really fun, we got to learn a little bit more about Art that night!

We ate way too much good food this weekend. I seriously think that we spent most of the weekend eating!

Nathan and I had fun entertaining our younger cousins. Haiden now has this thing for calling nathan "Uncle". We all just kind of laugh and say that we will explain to Haiden later that Nathan and he are actually cousins! It's really cute to see how much he loves playing with his big "uncle". Haiden and Chaise definately kept us busy!

My mom travelled down to Estevan with us. It was fun to have her company for the trip. She had a good weekend visiting family and friends. We also had to go to a funeral on Monday. My Great Great Aunt Carrie passed away. She was 100 years old! It was almost hard to be sad because she had had such a full life! Now her brother, my Great Grandpa Henry is the only one of the siblings left. He's 96, 97 in August! It's always so good to spend some time with him. He is still all with it. You would think at that age most of the marbles would be missing! But nope he's smart as a whip! He just needs to wear his hearing aids more often!




All in all it was a really good weekend! We had a good time and saw lots of our family! Until next time, take care!

I am such a girl....

Today after lunch with a friend I went to get into my van just like usual. I put the key in the door, turned it and pulled on the handle. While I was opening the door to my surprise I saw this little, brown mouse looking thing scamper across my dash. After about 2 seconds of " HOLY CRAP!" I started to scream hysterically.

Yes. That's right. There was a MOUSE IN MY VAN!

So after I regained my composure, I got out my cell phone to call my husband. There was no way that I was getting back into that van. Hello, in case you just skimmed the first paragraph, there was mouse in my van. And who am I kidding I was hyperventilating on the phone trying to tell Nathan what was going on. Regained my composure! HA! ...riiiiight. He just kept telling me to calm down and to "breathe woman!".

Truth is I am actually terrified of mice. They are disgusting and I can't handle them. So the thought of having one for a permanent driving companion just wasn't working out for me! I eventually convinced Nathan to drive to where I was and get this stupid thing out of the van.

He told me to open the side door and keep the other ones closed, and to just stand there and watch the door for the mouse until he got there. So I hung up the phone and shut my door. I went over to the passenger door and mustered up all my courage and opened the door. What did I see? The flippin' mouse! It ran across the passenger seat and into the back. Meanwhile, I am screaming bloody murder. (I guess that I failed to mention to you earlier that I was in the Moxie's parking lot on 8th street!) This young guy walked by and just asked if I was alright. I fixed my hair and said "yah, for sure". LIES!! ALL LIES!!

I felt like I waited for Nathan to get there forever. He made it and I immediately started bawling. Oh yes, it was great. So Nathan gets in the van and starts looking for the mouse. The whole time just trying to convince me to drive the van home. We had almost given up when I saw something move in the front seat. Sure enough the mouse had planted it's butt on my seat. It saw Nathan and hid in between the door and the side panel. Nathan flicked it out of the van and it ran away. Again the whole time I am shrieking like the girl that I am.

Turns out that it was a field mouse from my parents acerage. Franklin the fieldmouse is what I am going to refer to him as. I am excited that I got to bring him to the city, I just wish he would have asked first!

That's my exciting news of the day! I hope that you all enjoyed it!

..it's official...tattoo's HURT!

I had been contimplating getting a tattoo for the last year or so. My sister Kaitlan, who's an incredibable artist, designed something for me. It was exactly what I wanted and also really special because she had drawn it! So this past monday I finally sucked it up and went to see about getting it done.

Today I did it! I got my first tattoo. It was probably the most painful thing I have ever experienced but definately worth it. I just would never suggest getting one on your foot. The girl who did it for me said that it's definately the most painful place to get one. That was reassuring to hear two minutes before she was about to start! I was already nervous about it hurting because I am not one for much pain. For those of you who might need an example...I cry when I get a paper cut. So needless to say I was terrified about the pain. But surprisingly I did rather well. My sister was there with me, to coach me through it. (Nathan was on the road so he couldn't be there.) There were parts that hurt and parts that tickled. I bit my hand, pinched my leg just about everywhere and pulled out a few pieces of hair but I don't have any noticeable bruises.... yet!

I am really excited to see what it looks like once it's all healed.

Until next time...

ash

*april showers bring may flowers*

Thought that we would post some prayer requests for the month of April. Your prayers and encouragement are always appreciated!



- strength for Nathan to finish his final stretch of trucking (as well as safety on the road)
- motivation for Ashley to get things ready for work this summer (it's far too easy for her to procrastinate!)
- encouragement that the summer season will go well for us as we are working together, that it will be a safe season, a time of growth for us as a couple, etc.
- that the summer would allow for oportunites to share Jesus with Ashley's dad, that God would soften his heart (he's so close!!)
- that God would guide us in the process of looking for a home, that He would help us to be patient and trusting


That's all for now! Thanks again for your prayers and encouragement already!

Nathan & Ashley

Our Trip Home...

Nathan & I had an awesome time back in Portage, visting friends and family. It was so good to see Jeff & Ali again. They are FINALLY home from their missions trip in England. We couldn't be happier to have them home......

We drove with Shauna and her friend James from Caronport to Portage. Shauna & I had way too much fun on the way there. Ridiculously hyper would be a good term I think! There were lots of laughs, tears from those laughs & then some more laughs!



James & me being a creeper in the background! haha!

Oh you have to love car dancing!


On Saturday Nathan & I got to babysit for our friends Steve & Bonnie. They had training for the Cal Breakaway so, we got to watch Alej & Niko for the afternoon! We had a jam packed day, full of tickles, laughs, hillarious comments made by Niko, a trip to Dollarama!
..sharing a ring pop...

...Uncle Nathan reading with Alej and Geniko...

Alej got a jewelery box at Dollarama and wanted to paint it. So we whipped out the paint and got in our grubbies! We had alot of fun watching them experiment with the paint. Niko had to do everything that his big sister was doing. It was so fun to watch them interact with each other.





That evening there was a get together for Jeff & Ali. A welcome home party you could say. There was lots of good food and good friends! Ali put together a slide show from their trip. It was so good to see just a part of what they have been up to for the last 6 months! The boys enjoyed some jam time after the slide show. The girls enjoyed visiting. It was a good night.


The drive home was a little less hyper then the trip there. We were pretty exhausted but we still managed to find some things to do! Good times. It was a really good trip. Very refreshing for Nathan & I. It was so good to see everyone. If only there was more time to spend with everyone!
All in all it was a GREAT trip!
Until next time take care & God bless.

Jeff & Ali...here we COME!!

Shauna & Ali at our wedding

Nathan and I are off today. We are heading to see his brother Jeff and his wife Ali who just got back from a missions trip! They have been gone for about six months I guess it is! They were over in England doing some training and then got sent to India to do their missions. We are excited to hear all of their stories. We are excited just to see them again!! It's been too long!

So we are going to Moose Jaw tonight. We'll stay there with our friend Ryan overnight. In the morning we will pick up our friend Shauna and head out to Portage! It should be a great time! I'll be sure to take lots of pictures so I can post when we get home!

So until next week sometime!

The Woman That I Love....

Somedays I don't understand how she put up with me, other days I wonder how we even get along? Somedays I wonder why we are so different? Other days I can't get enough of her. Somedays she drives me crazy, somedays I drive her crazy. But you know what...that works for us. She's my mom and I love her more and more everyday.

When I 'take a step back' and look at my mom I am caught in awe of the things that she has accomplished in her life. She's an amazing mother of three. I know that I might be biast (spelling?) in saying that because she is my mom, but in all honesty she is a great mom. Yeah sometimes I don't agree with her techniques or the way that she handles things but in the end I get it. My mom and I haven't always seen eye-to-eye. Throughout my teenage years we disliked each other very much. I think that she saw too much of me in her and didn't like it. Over the last couple of years her and I have really really started to click. We've found our 'goove', what works. And it's awesome, but it's also the hardest thing I've had to do. In getting to know my mom, she's also slowly slipping away from me and the rest of our family.

My mom was diagnosed with Huntington's Disease about two years ago now I guess it was. (For those who don't know the easiest way for me to sum it up is that it's a hereditary disease that affects the nervous system, over time it eventually shuts your body down.) My grandpa (her dad) was diagnosed with Huntington's the year that I was born. So I grew up watching my grandpa 'change'. Which has really helped me but also set me back with my mom. It's helped me in the sense that it kept me informed about the syptoms, etc. But it set me back in the sense that it's that much harder to see it happen to your mom and be completely helpless to stop it. I know that it's something that I can't control, but no matter how many times I am told that it doesn't ease the pain of watching someone you love suffer.

I know that she isn't in any physical pain. It's just emotional and mental. I'm not sure which is better or easier. It's so hard to see her get frustrated when she can't do the things that she used to. I don't even know how to explain it. Take the way that someone you are close to is now, their character I mean, and flip it. Everything is the exact opposite. Strange feeling? I know it all to well. My mom has turned into her opposite. She is no longer the quiet reserved person that she used to be, she is out-spoken, can't concentrate for too long on one thing, has little motivation for anything, and I could go on. Basically I am getting to know her all over again.

It's so hard to see her turning into my Grandpa. Her actions, the little motions that she makes. So much like Grandpa. Which is so scary because I was about 16 when he was at his worst. So I know what these little twitches and choking leads up to. My mom's symptoms are progressing alot quicker then we thought that they would. She's on so many different medications and nothing is making her any better. There's no cure and no matter how many medications she takes it's not going to make it go away.

I feel so ashamed sometimes because I'm embarrased. It's hard to go out in public with someone who everyone else thinks is drunk, or rude, or extremely forward and odd. Sometimes they say it, sometimes they don't need words when their face says it all. That's my mom and I love her but how do I overcome this embarrassment? I know that I shouldn't be at all but it's really hard. People aren't aware of the disease so don't consider it.

I don't understand why she has to go through this. I don't understand why she's not getting any better. I don't understand why people are so judgemental. I don't understand why my brother and sister have to be parents at the age of 15 & 17. I don't understand why my dad has to get to know his wife all over again. I don't understand why no matter how many times I question God about it I never get an answer. I don't understand why I can't find peace with this.

Through all of it though my mom stands strong. She doesn't let anyone see her hurt or her anger. She is the hugest encouragment to me of living life to the fullest. She keeps on perservering.

I guess it's hard for me to since I know that this is what lies ahead for me. I was diagnosed in February 2005 with Huntington's Disease.

The Countdown Has Begun!

The countdown has officially begun. There is only about a month and a half until Nathan and I will finally be able to act like a married couple!

Nathan and I, since really the beginning of our relationship, have been doing the distance thing. When we first started dating I lived in Saskatoon, Nathan was in Manitoba. Then Nathan moved to Estevan, a little bit closer. Then after about a five months before we were married Nathan moved to Saskatoon. Even still we weren't together except for weekends. He was trucking out of town so that was usually the only time that we had together. Then Nathan started doing some city work right before we were married. Which was awesome, except for the fact that I was going to be working for my Dad during the summer. Meaning that I would be gone all week and home on the weekends.

To make a long story short, this summer is going to be the first time that we will actually be with each other every night! We'll go our seperate ways during the day. But we will be together in the evenings! YAY!! I know it doesn't sound all that exciting but for Nathan and I we really can't wait!

Now that it's just around the corner it feels like it's never going to get here! I just hope that I can keep it together for another month!

Friends Are Awesome...simple as that!

Today I got together with my girlfriend Kim and her beautiful baby boy Aidan for a booster juice and some shopping. I think that we were more excited about the shopping bit though....Aidan is truly a boy through and through! It was so good to see Kim again. Life keeps us both pretty busy so it's always good when we can get a chance to get together.

Without even knowing it, Kim has this way of knowing exactly what to say and when to say it. She has been blessed with this huge heart that just pours out encouragement in all the right places! Nathan and I have been discussing the inevitable with a married couple lately about 'starting a family'. I have been a little bit discouraged about getting pregnant (being on depo previously has kind of ruined my body); not knowing if my body is back to normal, etc. And Kim just totally helped me to see the way that I should be thinking!

She said all the right things. Things that I needed to hear. It's one thing to know that it's going to happen, that God can make it possible, but it's a totally different thing to actually believe that He will have it happen! So meeting with Kim today just really helped me to get back on track to where I should be in my mindset about all of that! Not to mention it was just fun to spend some time (and money!) with her!

So I thank God for my friend Kim and her encouragement. I only hope that I can do the same for her!

Until next time....

Rushton Update

Lately Nathan and I have been keeping really busy and for some reason I don't know why!? It doesn't seem like we have been doing alot but some how we just can't keep up with things!

It hasn't helped that I've been off my feet for the past two weeks. I had foot surgery (long awaited) on the 13th of February and am supposed to be off my feet for six weeks! I laughed when I heard that. There's no way that I could stay off my feet for that long! I have way to much energy! I was off my feet for a few days, which wasn't all that bad. I stayed out at my parents house and got spoiled rotten! They were way too awesome to me while I was out there.

Nathan's busy working, trucking still. We are both patiently awaiting May to come along quickly. We are planning on working for my dad this summer. You probably are wondering why the heck we would be excited about this but really you have to understand that it's been a very long time since Nathan and I have been in the same place at once aside from weekends and holidays. It'll be nice to be home together every night! Maybe we'll get a little taste of what married life is actually supposed to be like! haha!

Things have been going very for the both of us. Especially the last few months; we've both been working really hard on our relationship and getting it to where it should be and where we want it to be. God has been so good in this and definately keeping us accountable. Awesomeness for sure!

We are both anxiously waiting for the return of Nathan's brother Jeff and his wife Ali who have been gone on a mission's trip for the past six months. It's going to be so super good to see them again!

Anyways until later take care and God bless!